Then he brought each family of the tribe of Benjamin before the LORD, and the family of the Matrites was chosen. And finally, Saul son of Kish was chosen from among them. But when they looked for him, he had disappeared! So they asked the LORD, “Where is he?” And the LORD replied, “He is hiding among the baggage.” So they found him and brought him out, and he stood head and shoulders above anyone else.”
1 Samuel 10:21-23 NLT
A bit of background, a couple of chapters ago Saul had been chosen to be king and as amazing as that opportunity was, he had to wait a few years before he actually became king of Israel. No doubt within those years he would have had to go through some training and have someone to advise him about the massive role he would take on.
I have a confession to make, I’m not so great at sticking to things. I love painting but the style that I admire requires years of practice. I love music but chord learning is all I have the patience for on the keyboard. I like quick and easy solutions to my problems and sometimes I’ll even quit something because I feel like I’m just fine knowing the basics. Saul was a little like me in a way, in 1 Samuel chapter 9 when Saul meets Samuel (the one who God tells to anoint Saul as king) for the first time he quickly replies with:
“…But I’m only from the tribe of Benjamin, the smallest tribe in Israel, and my family is the least important of all the families of that tribe! Why are you talking like this to me?”
1 Samuel 9:21 NLT
That word, only, we’ve all thought it before if we’ve been asked to do a certain job, maybe someone asked you to speak in assembly or your team to play against the current top of the league teams. It seems like Saul was quite happy at the level he was at, where no one knew him and he could live quietly.
It’s a normal response to go into hiding just like Saul did in the first passage, remember when Moses tried to wriggle out of approaching Pharaoh because he thought God couldn’t have possibly been talking to him? This tells us that, all those biblical heroes were human too, they got scared, they didn’t believe in themselves but God used their weaknesses and strengthened them. They didn’t have to have themselves together before he used them, just a bit of faith.
Most of the time when God calls us to do something, it’s uncomfortable, and you feel a bit like Saul standing out in the open; head and shoulders above everyone else. Remember that he’s not asking for your perfect self – he’s calling your ‘only’ and your ‘but’s’ and saying “hey, I’m here. Let’s give it a go together.”
So let us paint, play, dance, sing, write poems, write blogs, encourage others and love to the best of our abilities.
You are not too messy, your opinion is important, you will never be ‘ready’. If God has put these things on your heart then the only thing for you to do is respond.